


Fresh Air

by Aidaran, StarTravel



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Feels, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sweet, banter flirt, crashing on an M planet... again, cute kidnapping, season 6, so soft, soft angst, soft fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 06:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20943593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aidaran/pseuds/Aidaran, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarTravel/pseuds/StarTravel
Summary: Julian has been brooding since he came back from the internment camp, and Jadzia and Garak decide he needs a bit of air. Things don't go as Julian expected, because really, being kidnapped and crashing on a planet is never in his top five of fun things to do with his friends.





	Fresh Air

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been sitting on our drive since July! well, some have been sitting since march too, but still.

_ He was easier to get along than you. _

Julian knows he’s not the easiest person in the station, he really does.

_ We didn’t really notice. _

But if nobody noticed he was replaced for 3 weeks by a changeling, then maybe he's not that important.

_ He made us sandwiches. _

He can’t help ruminating on Miles’ comment too. The fake was a better friend, more aware of everybody’s needs than he is.

_ We played darts, I don’t know, for christ sake! I’m not that observant, Julian. _

Julian knows he’s brilliant but... maybe he’s so flawed that his brilliance and skills don’t matter, can’t compensate for the other traits. Maybe he’s just too selfish and sanctimonious and moralistic. Maybe he’s what he’s always feared. Or worse, less than that.

_ There’s a war going on, who knows. We thought you were... well, growing up. _

So he just concentrates on investigating. At least at that he knows he's good.

_ You spend most of your time hiding away in your infirmary, anyway. It’s not like I’d suspect you’d been replaced over a beer. _

He buries himself in numbers and medical fact. He can’t hurt anyone else that way. He can become a computer.

Jadzia is starting to worry about that. She wonders if maybe Miles or Garak would be able to get him out of that state, since she is not reaching him anymore. Miles shakes his head. His luck hasn’t been any better. Garak points out Julian has been avoiding him since the holosuite incident where he shot him.

"Then maybe you should confront him, Garak. Really, we don't know what else to do. We haven’t even been able to get him to go to Quark’s with us in two weeks."

“Fine, fine, I will. But don’t be surprised if he doesn’t want anything to do with me now that I don’t live up to his federation standards.”

"I don't think he feels he lives to those standards either."

”Maybe not anymore. But there is something we could do, my dear.”

“I’m all ears.”

She asks Ben first, not so much to be authorized as to notify him what they plan on doing. The doctor needs to be shaken after all. He agrees and that’s how Julian finds himself trapped on a runabout with Jadzia and Garak at 5 am in the morning, with only enough time to grab the bag he always have ready for emergencies. He immediately goes to a bedroom and tries to lock the door. Garak opens it and gives him a one over, wide smile on his face.

"Sorry dear, no locks on this ship, unless you plan on using the toilet, and really, don't lock yourself more than 15 minutes because there's only one and I assure, I will break inside if you do."

“Fine, then just don’t come into my quarters.”

"It will be a boring trip, then, no pads and hiding in your room."

“I have a pad in my bag.” Julian glances down and realizes his bag is not here. He goes out of his room, angrily, searching all over the place.

"No, you don't. We checked your luggage. Sorry, Julian." Jadzia is apologetic, but she knows she needs to make him go out of this state.

“You stole my stuff? What is this, a sudden turn to a life of crime for both of you?” Julian is confused and annoyed. “Why are you doing this to me?”

"Because we think you need fresh air, Julian." Jadzia looks him in the eye, not faltering. She knows this is at least an unusual intervention, but it’s one Julian needs.

“Fresh air? And why would I need that?”

"Oh, since you don't have pads, you could use the free time to think about why we think you need that."

Julian groans and lies back against the wall, closing his eyes. “Because you think I need to be less of a... a... jerk?” As if they’ve been great friends for him, anyway. They didn’t even realize he was replaced, why do they think they can judge him?

"Because we think you need to reconnect with yourself."

“What do you mean? I’m as good of a doctor and aa brilliant as ever. In case nobody told you, Jadzia, I was rebuilt 25 years ago into an amazing monster.”

"Since you're not a machine, I'd say at least one of those statements is wrong." Garak intervenes with a warm voice.

Julian grins dangerously, eyes lighting up as he leans in. “Haven’t you heard? I’m an augment.”

"Nice computer model. Does it come with an integrated replicator as well?" Garak doesn’t blink, keeping his eyes locked on Julian’s until the human looks down.

“Not yet, my system needs updating. Now can I have my bag back?  _ Please? _ ”

"I think the system updating will be done in the surface. In the meantime, I suggest you sleep."

Julian huffs in annoyance but eventually goes back to his quarters. That are, as he shortly finds out, his and Garak’s quarters.

"I'm sorry, Julian, I'm a married woman, I can't go sharing rooms with you." She smiles and disappears in the other room as soon as she notices Julian’s glare.

Julian groans and lies down on the bottom bunk. “Take the top since you threw my bag out.”

"Is being on top a punishment on Earth?" Julian chokes at the wording but decides not to give him the satisfaction of showing that. He knows Garak knows enough standard not to say that by mistake.

“Not a punishment, I just happen to prefer the bottom.”

"Such a bold statement, my dear."

Julian flushes a bit and leans back against the bed. “Garak, you know that’s not what I mean.”

"Oh, what do you think I was talking about? Computers don't get ashamed or have decorum, so I'm sure we can discuss this at length."

Julian shakes his head and groans, trying to hide underneath the blankets. “Sex, and you know it. Happy? Now please either get me a padd or leave me alone.”

"Since when do you not want to have a conversation regarding that kind of subjects? I remember you going on and on about your conquests in the Replimat. And no, I won't give you a pad, but we could go to sleep if you want. The day will begin early after all."

“This isn’t a medical trip, is it?” Julian snaps coldly.

“It is, the patient just isn’t who you expected.”

Julian rolls his eyes, annoyed. "I'm taking a shower. Don't knock on the door. If you need to use the bathroom you'll just have to wait."

The runabout starts to crash mid shower, just when he’s finishing with his hair, leaving Julian to clutch onto the side of the door while trying to pull on clothes. He’s certainly not going to die in the nude.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" He gets out of the shower with his pants, no shoes and an open jacket, water dripping from his hair and his most annoyed expression. It was fortunate he didn't bring Kukalaka with him, because he certainly doesn't want his bear to die in the flames.

“Shut up and help Garak while I try to land!” Jadzia is frantic over the consoles.

Julian works on helping, checking to make sure there was no fire and moving as quickly as possible while Jadzia works on landing the runabout. The crash at least doesn’t do too much damage by the time they land, almost as though they’d merely been hit by a bit of turbulence. Garak smiles at him, tight and awkward. “Aren’t you glad we checked your bag now, dear?”

"I'd prefer to be in the station, doing real work instead of fixing your mistakes."

“Of course. God forbid we try and help you.”

"Taking me out of my comfort zone doesn't quite sound like helping me."

“I couldn’t help but thinking it was just they you needed, since you’re routine has made you -“

“Selfish? Annoying? Moralistic? Prejudiced? Take your pick, Garak.”

They see the floor slowly come into view, not as fast to kill them on the landing. If anything, Julian is glad one of Jadzia’s previous hosts was a pilot.

"I like all of those, so I think I won't pick just one. And yet, here we are, disrupting our own routines in the hope of helping you."

“Did you ever consider that this is just who I am?” Julian’s voice is dry as he turns to start examining the damage.

"No, because I've known you for long enough to know you're not a computer. Moralistic and prejudiced, perhaps, but not an unfeeling machine. And I don't think the others are so much a part of you, as they are a way of keeping yourself safe from the pain."

“Of course, because Cardassians aren’t prejudiced at all.” Julian’s voice is cold as he continues to work on his repairs. “I never asked for help. Especially since nobody really noticed I was gone.”

"Oh, yes, some of us are, and yet that never stopped you from wanting to be my friend. Oh, and if you must know. I always knew you've been replaced, I just had nobody to go with the information, since it’s not as if I’m the most popular person in the station. When I got the message, I tried to steal a runabout, but I never intended for that  _ thing _ to board it with me."

Julian opens and closes his mouth a few times, eyes wide as he finally looks up from his work. He can’t help a small, helpless look. He’d been too scared to even ask him what he had done with the changeling all those days he was away. “You knew? Really knew?”

"Oh yes, he had all sorts of nice opinions about the repetitive epic. I smiled and stayed as far as possible for the next 3 weeks."

So much for hope. The changeling was too great to be Julian, then. He should have known. “Ah, yes, so you knew because he was nice and easy to get along with; unlike the reality. Not really a surprise, I guess.”

Jadzia maneuvers softly and lands the runabout with only a bit of a shake, which is just short of a miracle considering how the poor ship keeps flashing its emergency lights. 

"No, he was boring and disgusting. I may enjoy arguing, my dear, in case you didn’t notice. A flaw of character of both for us, I know, but we certainly share it and I really miss that."

Julian can’t help smiling a little at that as he takes Garak’s hand and squeezes it a bit, holding him close. “I... I feel like no one noticed I was gone, or worse, they wished I had been when I came back. I know who and what I am, you know.”

"You're a man who's too hard on himself. And I certainly missed you, although I don't like how you're hurting yourself now."

“I’m not... I was a child when I first got here.”

"Nobody's born being an adult."

“That’s not what I mean. I was arrogant and needy and rude to people and I was an idiot. It’s no surprise nobody missed me.”

"And now you're what, a detached computer that doesn't deserve anything? Sorry, but we don't believe that."

Julian shakes his head and tries to take his hand away, but Garak is holding it tight and doesn’t let him. “I’m not - you deserve better.”

"And yet that's what we think about you. You deserve to be loved, doctor."

“I - but that’s - it’s hard to explain.”

Julian gets away and presses his face into his hands. He doesn’t need this, not now when he’s finally resolved not to feel anymore, to let himself be close to anybody anymore.

Garak gets closer again, this time grabbing his shoulder. "No, it is not. Only you make it hard."

“You deserve someone as clever and charming as you are.”

"I think I'm old enough to choose my own friends."

“Apparently not.”

"Why not? I decided not to be friends with the changeling."

“I - but - it’s not - why would you even want to be friends with me?” Julian feels his throat tight, hates himself for even asking the questions he doesn’t want to hear the answer for.

Garak looks him in the eye until the human has to look away, embarrassed. "I always thought I had had a rough life, but if you think like that, maybe yours was even harder than mine in certain aspects, dear. At least I always hoped people would eventually like me."

“Mine was easy compared to yours. People may not like me, but I had every advantage and every luxury available to me. And you had to hope that. A spy could hardly have everyone he meets hate him.”

"But I at least didn't hate myself. Luxury and advantages don't equal love and happiness." He squeezes Julian’s hand softly.

“Maybe not. But you haven’t exactly had much love in your life either.”

"And that's why I want to help you now. You still can be saved, doctor."

“What exactly do I need to be saved from?”

"From yourself."

“I’m not so dangerous.”

"Look me in the eye and tell me you never wanted to end your life. That you never planned it."

Julian swallows and meets his gaze and then looks away. “Not often.”

"But you do."

“Yes, Of course. I did steal the life of a child, after all. And I know what I may become.”

"You are not responsible for what was done to you, for the sins of your father. I should know about that.” He sighs, knowing he won’t really believe that applies to himself, even if he’s able to forgive Garak from what he’s done in his past. “You’re only responsible for who you'll become."

“I’m afraid that this is the best I can ever be and it’s not good enough. So many people dislike me and I know I’m arrogant and that I think I know better.”

"And here two people stole a runabout because they are worried about you. You should appreciate that, with that federation optimism of yours."

Julian swallows tightly, shaking his head a bit as he closes his eyes. “I ... that is very kind, but the Julian you care about that sort of thing doesn’t exist. Or shouldn’t exist. Take your pick.”

"Then we'll care about the new Julian. Whoever he becomes."

“I ... but why?”

"You're not a computer, so there's no need to list reasons, is there?"

Julian huffs and shakes his head, pressing his face into his hands again. He feels hiding his face is all he does lately. “We should go and keep helping Jadzia fix the runabout. We left her alone doing all the repairs, after all.”

"Of course. And then we can prepare a meal. We didn’t have breakfast, after all." He offers his hand.

Julian takes it, smile brittle but there. “Yes, hopefully so.”

"We'll need to eat well, after all we landed far from the point we meant to."

“Is this at least the right planet?” He wouldn’t be surprised to learn that either this is not, or they had no idea where they wanted to go in the first place.

"Yes, that at least I'm pretty sure it is."

“Good, that’s at least a small mercy. Here, let’s see how Jadzia’s getting along. I might be able to fix the control panel faster than her.”

"And if you don't, don't worry. We won't be going back in this ship anyway."

“Why not?” Julian blinks owlishly, shaking his head a bit. It seems like quite the waste, and Garak is usually against that.

"Oh, I won't spoil your surprise just yet, dear."

Julian sighs but follows Garak to the outside, where Jadzia already has a bag on her shoulder. She seems ready to abandon the runabout altogether. This is getting strange again, and he can’t even imagine what his friends are trying to accomplish.

"I have sandwiches ready. Let's split rations and then we have to climb that hill. Luckily we landed only 5 km from the point we were supposed to."

She hands them the food smiling, and then water. She has it far too well prepared for it to be just an accident. There’s something else to this, something Julian can’t quite figure out.

“We’re walking 5 kilometers? Shouldn’t we be quick since there’s a medical emergency?”

"What medical emergency, dear? Your panic to be surrounded by friends?" Garak snorts, but his expression is soft and there’s no bite to his tone.

“You said we were helping somebody!”

"And your mind immediately assumed somebody was dying?”

Why else would anybody want him around, anyway? “Of course. I am a doctor, if you didn’t remember.”

"Not only that. You're a human as well." Jadzia looks at him sadly. She really hopes their plan will pay up, that they didn't take too long to realize how sad he was, how lost. They haven’t been such good friends lately, as the changeling made them see too clearly.

“Oh. Of course I am, but what kind of help can I give as a human over a doctor?”

"You really don't know?" She squeezes his arm and gets up. "Come on, it will be late and some people will be pretty upset if we show in the afternoon."

Julian sighs and follows her up the hill, Garak at his side nibbling on fish bread. At least one of them is happy here.

"Want some, dear? It's quite good." Garak offers him a bite of his bread.

Julian takes it hesitantly, making a bit of a face when the flavor hits him. Sometimes he forgets how strong cardassian spicing is.

"Not of your taste?" Garak looks almost disappointed. Jadzia laughs a bit at their side.

Julian shakes his head and swallows down the bread. “I fear I like my flavors a bit less... well, just less.”

"A pity. You, Jadzia? Does your worm want to experience kardassi cuisine?"

“I could try it. Curzon liked it.”

He hands her a bit of bread while they walk. "What about your sandwich, Julian? Is it any good?"

He nods. Jadzia somehow managed to prepare his favorite ones. “Quite good. Here, try a bite.”

Garak makes a face but forces himself to eat it. The flavour hits him and he has to make an effort to gulp it, drinking his water in an attempt to override the awful taste. "Not sure this would be my first choice."

“Well, we’ll have to make sure not share lunch then.”

"We can just prepare different dishes when we are together. And I may be able to get used to the weird taste of cheese, although I still worry a lot about a species that came up with such a food."

“Oh please, you eat Ragnar eggs. It’s hardly different.” Julian scoffs as he shakes his head, smile warm and amused as they reach the base of the hill.

Julian feels lighter, as when he first arrived at the station. Trying new things, hanging around people he likes. He can almost forget the past months, the weeks of imprisonment, the sting of knowing nobody noticed he was kidnapped.

"One thing is grabbing eggs, another one is thinking 'oh, we can take the baby food of this animal, and then let it rot until it gets solid', my dear."

“So it’s all right to eat the unborn baby, but not their food then!” Julian points at him dramatically, immensely enjoying the discussion.

"The rotting part is what gets me. And you know most eggs don't have an embryo inside, you're a doctor. You can’t use that argument against me."

“Of course. But cheese is not rotting in a traditional sense, and you know it as well. Besides, you like fermented things just fine.”

"But our ferments are all vegetables! They don't come from an animal  _ glands _ ." 

Jadzia has problems walking from the bouts of laughter she's having. Julian, against his will, is really enjoying the journey now. Especially if it seems that at the end of the road he won't find a dead body. He could do without one for a change.

He’s laughing a bit, shaking his head. “The initial issue, my dear tailor, was the rotting, not a question of glands. Don’t go changing it now.”

"Maybe my issue is with both, doctor."

“The cheese doesn’t have glands either!”

"No, but the cow does!"

“But not in the cheese it produces!”

Julian is so busy arguing he doesn’t even notice Jadzia catching Garak’s eye over his shoulder. She feels lighter too.

"But those parts certainly are involved in the process. And don't start telling me about where the eggs come from because those are hardly equivalent."

“Of course not. Nothing that would make you wrong could be.” Julian sounds delighted as he says it though. He’s not even trying to hide his smile now.

"It's good to see you find wisdom in what I'm telling you. Perhaps in a few years I'll be able to make a rational man out of you."

“Is that what you want, Garak? For me to be a rational man?” He feels suddenly sobering up, fearing Garak is trying to change him.

"Oh no, I like you just the way you are, I really do, but your defense of the daily products is certainly disturbing."

Julian snorts in spite of himself, glancing over at Jadzia. “Where exactly are we going?”

"Somewhere, Julian. Don't be impatient, soon we'll arrive. Luckily my estimation was wrong and we are almost at the meeting place.”

“So what are we doing here? You still haven’t told me. Or where my bags are.”

"You really are obsessed with your bags, aren't you?" Jadzia doesn't even bother in answering his questions. He can wait a bit longer.

“I’m not obsessed, but I did have valuable things there.”

"And here I was thinking you're from a post economics society, doctor." Garak squeezes his hand softly. "After all the trouble we had organizing this, you're worried about your colorful shirts?"

“I meant my medical supplies, and you know it. Besides, I only pack one colorful shirt in the emergency luggage.”

"All that insistence with the medical supplies makes me wonder if the cheese is actually poisonous. I told you it's not a safe food."

“It’s perfectly safe and has been for centuries. Humans aren’t as delicate as Cardassians.”

"Do these ridges scream 'delicate' to you?" His voice is full of indignation, even as he grabs Julian's arm. Jadzia grabs the other one, and they make him turn to the right, where they see a small wooden cabin and the smoke of a small fire behind it.

Julian stares at it with wide eyes, shaking his head and trying and failing to shake their hands off. He looks at the cabin in shock. “Where did you even find the wood to recreate something so ancient?”

"Believe it or not, one of your best friends is quite a good engineer and can build stuff." Miles appears from the inside of the cabin, sleeves rolled and face dirty with coal, cleaning his hands in a piece of cloth even dirtier than his face. "Come, we are all already here and the captain is almost finished with the food."

Julian twists around, confused and a bit annoyed. He crosses his arms, glaring softly at Miles. “If you’re here and so is the captain, who exactly is on Deep Space 9?”

"The night crew, obviously. Somebody had to stand guard in the station while we all came here. And my shop is closed, as you can imagine." Garak pulls his arm so he gets closer. Even with the sandwiches they ate, the walk made them hungry so the smell of food is really enticing.

Julian lets himself be led to the cabin, feeling like he might be in a dream. Or maybe his mind has been taken over all over again. He can’t even begin to count how many regulations must have been broken if the senior staff all decided to take a vacation.

Kira and Odo are discussing about where to put the cutlery, with Odo insisting it should be arranged in a symmetrical fashion, and Kira insisting on putting it in the traditional bajoran way.

“You’re both here?” Julian can’t hide his surprise. He glances around the cabin carefully. “Is Quark hiding somewhere too?”

"Yes, and Rom and Nog. They sold us the kanar and springwine, and the fake signals for the runabout. Great special effects, maybe the chief should give Rom a raise if you actually bought it." Jadzia winks at him.

“Wait, the crash was faked?!” Julian sounds more than a little appalled. “I thought it seemed oddly gentle — Wait, why?” 

"We managed to surprise him?" Kira beams, leaning on Jadzia's shoulder. "I thought he'd see through our plan right away."

"I told you he wouldn't even imagine this." Jadzia looks pleased with herself.

"Rom is great at rigging things, I told you it would go right under his nose." Miles smiles proudly. To think a Ferengi would be his best engineer.

“Imagine you all kidnapping me and taking me to a rustic cabin? I can’t imagine why I never thought of that.” Julian sounds pleased though, grinning a little as he takes a few steps inside. There’s a warmth to the room.

“You’d think he’d have a better imagination with all those holoprograms we play.” The chief removes the coal to make the fire bigger, ending with his hair black as well. 

"He trust us so much." Garak rolls his eyes, still tugging at his hand so he ends up sitting in the middle of the room. “As to why, we didn’t think you’d come along if there wasn’t a good reason. Besides, we thought a walk would help you clear your head.” 

“I don’t - Of course I trust you all, you’re my friends.”

"Yes, we are." Jadzia gives him a light kiss on the forehead. "And Ben made sure not to bring any beets today."

“Is it my birthday?”

"No, but we thought you needed a bit of fresh air. Don't worry, we'll kidnap you again in 2 months, since Garak hacked your file and we know exactly when it is now." Not the date he always told everybody, the real one, the one his parents altered after his treatments. He thought he’d never get to celebrate Jules’ day again.

“Oh. I haven’t - I - I thought you all, well. Didn’t care about me.”

"Now you know you're wrong." Garak is still holding his hand, sitting at his side.

“Yes, I suppose I do.” Julian grins softly and squeezes his hand, glancing around at all of his friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love!


End file.
